Put My Handbag in My Coffin when I'm Dead
I know that there'll
be crying
When word comes that I am dying
I know my death will be the saddest news
I know a tragic tune will
Be playing at my funeral,
And my friends will be too grieved
to drink the booze,
And they called out in a chorus
What's your last wish for us
As they stood weeping round my bed,
They were all assembled
My voice quavered and trembled
Put my handbag in my coffin when I'm
dead
(Chorus)
Put my handbag in
my coffin,
Don't let it be forgotten
Put my handbag in my coffin when
I'm dead.
According to inscriptions
Notable Egyptians
Took food and clothes and make-up to their graves
And Peruvian Incas
As well as other trinkets
Were buried their women and their slaves,
And they say a Viking lord
He lay there with his sword
His shield, his helmet and his horse,
I'll show the kind of valour
That takes you to Valhalla
When I hold onto my handbag with full force.
Dressed in flowing shrouds
We're queuing in the clouds
My handbag looked askance by all the men,
They heave impatient sighs
And they roll their eyes
Then they ask me for a tissue or a pen,
St Peter's at the gate
As we stand and wait
He's calling out, "Someone help me please,
I've dropped them on the ground."
I'll say, "Look what I have found."
And I'll rummage in my handbag for the keys